i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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