He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize