I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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