Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
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my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
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It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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