i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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