Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
