At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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