Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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