either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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