I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize