so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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