you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
