i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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