I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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