i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
