why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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