3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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