I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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