atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
