I just made out with a guy for $7.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
