Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize