Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
