If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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