honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
