You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
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i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Someone signed my nipple.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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