id be glad to
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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