We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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