I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
