Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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