We're facebook friends in real life
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
