I need help removing her.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize