...so i touched it.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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