There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
