Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize