11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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