My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
ugly people sure do ruin things
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
