I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
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