I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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