A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The air was thick with penises
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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