i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
