This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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