i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
