i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
