your parents love me but you hate me
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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