They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize