Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
