It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
