i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
