I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
