What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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