You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
