A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
