That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize