I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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